I Wish.

I wish many things.
I wish I had worked harder on my art this year.
I wish I had more works to show for my time.
I wish I had better works to show for my time.

But right *now* I wish I were able to work on the series (three in the making) that I want without guilt.

Earlier this year I started a fairy tales series but it lays abandoned due to poverty (I can't very well keep working on big pieces for the future instead of working on small sale pieces for the now)

I have the circus people series I want to start (but now christmas obligations are standing in the way of launching that)

And mostly...mostly...I have an incredible broken unicorn series that I long to create which would not only reflect beautiful things to the viewers but would really help me explore some territory I long to explore.

But how can I start that when there are bills to pay and gifts to make?
I need to be working on so many other things.

I wish I didn't have to worry about selling works (the broken unicorn series I cannot imagine in any alabama living room) so that I could delve into what I want. I feel very limited in learning when I have to pull back like this.

Am I self obsessed and ranting right now?
Oh, yes, I am.
*sigh*

So I'm off.
To workout.
And to mull over the things I cannot touch in my head.
And then to work on the things I must I right now.

*salutes her fellow artists*
*exits*