Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Again, for the absence. I've just not been gravitating towards the computer of late. In fact I'm having a fabulous, torrid affaid with pen and paper right now. As you do.

On art. The self-portrait (and first piece for the artisan series) is still...gak. That is my descriptive word of choice for this piece, gak. I think it may be salvageable but right now looking at it gives me...hmmm...*rabbit nose* gives me no sense of satisfaction. That's right. I ain't got no...nah nah naaaah...I ain't got no...

I may potter away with it.
It currently looks like this:

For TODAY, though, as I woke up with -oh-my-gosh-why-am-i-alive-what-am-i-doing-with-my-life guilt, I need to get a shuffle on with something that I can be proud of or something that will give me a sense of accomplishment. I know I NEED to finish my fairy tales series (I have too many unfinished pieces around the house) but I think I may draw up three small works for my oz/poppies series.

It will keep me away from the pre-pictured mess above and - providing they turn out well - will erase some of my why-am-i-alive guilt.

Did you follow that? I write this in the freezing cold, in sweat soaked clothes after a 10 mile run, with a pounding head. Heh.

So, that's my plan of attack for today.
I need to go prep the canvases.

I have more to say on how beautiful life is but maybe I'll leave that for later on.
But isn't it?
Isn't life beautiful, though?

*dashes off to find canvases and models, tripping on beauty as she goes*

(extra apologies, also, for todays incoherancies)


Hayzie said...

I can see you in there, I can. But in all your pictures, all your peek-a-videos, you never look... You never have the aura of being placid. You are painting yourself emerging, but you wouldn't *just* emerge, as though *just* awakening. You would be fighting to emerge - not that you are being held in/under, but that you don't do anything softly.
You emerge with purpose and strength. What I don't see here is the pushing for it, your hand isn't placed upon as decoration, it would be bracing, muscles in your arm tensed, your leg tightened.
Do you get what I'm saying? You might be delicate, but your actions are not. I know you have more muscle than that.

I love the colours, the water, and the pose. I think you will still make this an amazing piece.

Kay said...

Problem don't have a deadline. But you do really, we just need to set it.

I finished three portraits today... all started in February. The deadline is looming. I needed it. They were all sooooo close to being finished, but not quite. Now I am proud of them - sort-of. They are all "pretty good" but I always think I could have done better...

Time to move on, next series not allowed to start until I have finished two commissions... then watch out!

Down time happens. But after down or outside time comes inspiration. "Outside art" time is "letting the subconscious work" time. That's valid too.

Didn't mean to rave this much...


ps I like it. But I get a crick in my neck looking at it...

(i love)...colours... said...

Try not to stress too much about unfinished works - though it's good to have discipline to finish projects, sometime (especially creatively) the purpose of the project is simply to push you onto something else. Kind of like a stepping stone!



Sarah said...

Hayzie. You hit the nail on the head.
That's exactly it.
I imagined....more.
Somebody asked me recently if I allowed myself artistic do-overs.
I said no.
But I think...with this portrait...I will start all over again.
Maybe smaller.
Definitely a more traumatised pose/expression.
Because one is traumatised when they liberate monsters.
Thank-you and I love you.
You're fixing it.